Can self-denial become destructive?
by Robert Krumrey
“Is it possible for the denial of oneself to become sinful, a source of pride like viewing oneself as a martyr?”
Being fallen humans we can turn anything into an occasion to sin, including “denying ourselves”. Any CrossFit enthusiast or diet guru will talk a talk of self-denial. This, in and of itself, can become something that we worship and glorify as our ultimate salvation. We can find ourselves boasting in our willingness to endure pain for this thing that we treasure. We post on social media about how hard we are working to deprive ourselves of what we may want in the short term in order to gain whatever the thing is that we treasure above giving into lesser desires.
This can also be done with Christianity. We can make Christianity into an occasion to sin. We can talk a talk of self-denial. We can boast of our willingness to endure pain for Christ in comparison to those who don’t deny self as much as we do. This is how Jesus describes much of the religion of his day in places like Matthew 23:
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others. You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel!”
In the entirety of chapter 23 of Matthew, Jesus is giving a scathing rebuke of the religious types of his era. Describing their religious practices (like carefully sorting their spice garden to insure proper tithing) as hollow and lifeless and pointing out the absence of true transformation (like living lives of justice and mercy). Jesus is not saying that they shouldn’t have tithed (“These you ought to have done”) but he is showing them that sacrificial religious activity is NOT the end goal when it comes to denying oneself. There is something more.
MORE than mere self-denial
What is this more that Jesus is driving at? The more is an actual living relationship with God. This is what keeps self-denial in it’s proper context. You deny yourself not for the sake of denying your self, but instead, for the sake of Christ who is your king. This self-denying is done in the context of relationship with Jesus through his word by the power of the Holy Spirit.
The big difference between the self-denial of the CrossFitter and the self-denial of the CrossLifter is that the one who picks up the disciple’s cross is doing so in response to the saving work of Jesus and in obedience to his glorious and good rule as King of the universe. Again, take a look at Jesus’ words in Luke 9:23
“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”
Jesus describes the disciple as one who comes “after me”. The denial is personal and is done unto Christ. Because this is personal, and Jesus is not only King but also Savior, we can know that his initiation with us will always be for our good. This is what he’s getting at when he speaks of his “yoke” in Matthew chapter 11:
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
This taking on of a yoke that Jesus mentions here is symbolic language for taking on his rule as your King. The assurance he gives here is that it will be “easy” and “light”. By saying this, he’s not saying that he isn’t going to give you a heavy load to carry. What he is saying is that he will be carrying the the weight. Yokes are used to combine the strength of 2 animals like a team of oxen. In this scenario, we are yoking ourselves up with Jesus which will now be determining the direction of our lives. Because Jesus is all good and all wise, that direction will be a life-giving direction. Not only that, but Jesus, being all powerful, will be filling us with his strength to fulfill the direction that he has chosen for us.
Deny Self / Find Self
In the end, this is where we find our “true self”. There’s a lot of talk in our culture about “being yourself” or being “true to yourself”. What’s usually meant by that is being independent of everyone and everything so that we can emerge as we were truly meant to be. There are many problems with this including the delusion that we are somehow independent from the shaping influences of the context in which we live. It’s also a very modern concept to believe that my identity is crafted solely by me and me alone.
In the face of a lot of modern ideas, we find in Scripture that one’s true identity is found in rightly relating to our creator God. This is where the self language may be a bit hard to understand. We are “denying self” unto Jesus in order to “find ourself” as we were truly meant to be. Jesus also seems to be using this kind of language. Again, look at what he says in Luke 9:
“For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?”
Jesus uses this language of losing the self (unto him) which results in saving the self. He’s showing us that the denying of self that we do is actually a denial of a false, sinful self that was never what we were intended to be in the first place. Not only that, when we “lose ourselves” for Christ’s sake we actually become the true self that we were made to be all along. This is at the heart of genuine Christian transformation - the death to life story that results in us becoming truly who we were made to be!